Review: Unnamed Clinic (Balmung)

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Venue address : Balmung, Empyrium, Ward 30 Subdivision, Apartment 87 Venue times: Pop-Up Venue, no regular times or days Venue Carrd: http://unnamedclinic.carrd.co

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Staff Friendliness

Not sure staff here are supposed to be 'friendly' per se, but the folks running this pop up - clearly marked using the yellow tag - were quick to respond to our presence. They were funny, sunk completely into their roles, and were entirely atmospheric. We can't get over how happy the doctor seemed to be to have us be there. We just wanted to smoosh him.

Service

This pop-up venue is a back-alley healer. Think Dr. Nick from the Simpsons, but back alley dingy with a plague mask, and you're getting closer to the feel. Though I think the doctor here MAY be more qualified than Dr. Nick, we'll never know.

Atmosphere

Excuse us while we continue to babble about how badly our minds are blown by this design. An apartment build that replicates a dingy alleyway to such an incredible level. The use of dividers and doors and windows makes you forget you're in a room. A tiny room. Instead, you feel like you can hear and smell the city moving around you just on the other side of the alley. We wouldn't have been surprised if we'd been mugged on our way out. Our doctor was masked, which was awesome...though I have to say, a plague beak mask would have been amazing.

Role-Play

Our doctor and his staff were excellent back alley folks. They were great to roleplay with, attentive, seemed to know what they were doing -- which you want when someone is stitching your liver back into your body. The venue design really sells the roleplay inside -- what might seem over the top or gaudy elsewhere is perfectly normal here.

Out-of-Game Elements

The website was simple but descriptive. The rules were great and designed to ensure everyone had an amazing time experiencing this popup. The doctor only functions with one or two staffers, which they warn about ahead of time on the site.

Adult tag

I would suggest this venue is not appropriate for the SFW tag, due to the medical gore and maiming you may be exposed to. There's no sex (at least we hope not); if you boink in this alleyway the doctor might harvest your organs.

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Pros

Everything. We're still flabbergasted by this place.

Cons

Not a regular venue, just a pop-up. This makes us sad.

Reviewer Thoughts I felt dirty and desperate while having the doctor tend to the old, drunk and bleeding fart I found out in the world. And that's no bad thing because this is a back alley doctor. The only thing scarier would being desperate enough to go to a veterinarian. It's places like this that just blow our minds and make us happy to do what we do.